Making your home a Haven

My hearts desire is to be a woman who builds her home and as part of this journey I have been encouraged by Courtney's Making your home a Haven challenge (Week 1). In her post Courtney describes two very different woman. These two woman challenged me to evaluate where I am at the moment and just what I was going to do to change where I am at to become the woman God has called me to be.

 Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands.

Definition of Wise: Properly, having knowledge; hence, having the power of discerning and judging correctly, or of discriminating between what is true and what is false; between what is fit and proper, and what is improper; as a wise prince; a wise magistrate, Discrete and judicious in the use or applications of knowledge; choosing laudable ends, and the best means to accomplish them. This is to be practically wise.

Courtney talked about two woman and listed 5 ways of a wise woman and here are some of my thoughts on those in her list. I was pleased with this list as it gave me something to think about.

 1. The woman of the home is engaged
I realise that this in not a true statement of me.  I have been else where in my thoughts and feelings as a result of no purpose.  Scripture is very clear about having a purpose and the consequences of not having one. 

2 Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

I often find myself off somewhere in my thoughts and life is happening around me and some times I have said yes to a child and been totally oblivious to what they just asked / told me. This week I have focused on been attentive not only to those speaking to me but to my own thoughts too.

2. The woman of the home is wise with her time management
Ephesians 5:16 says redeeming the time and again in Colossians 4:5 Behave yourselves wisely [living prudently and with discretion] in your relations with those of the outside world (the non-Christians), making the very most of the time and seizing (buying up) the opportunity.

My time management has definitely flown out of the window and as my Mom gently reminded me earlier this week a Stay At Home Mom needs to stay home in order to accomplish the tasks before her.  I certainly need more time at home to get my out of order home in order and running smoothly again.  My parents lived with us earlier this year and it was such a joy and privilege to see how diligently my mother works at home. Little did she know but I was closely watching in order to learn from her godly role model and practical know how.  Thanks to her I have gathered a few more skills along the way.

3. The woman of the home has a pleasant demeanor
My demeanor of late has been a very down cast one. I have been tired (my fault I know) and as a result I am purposing to go to bed earlier, work on my diet and create a Healthy Lifestyle for myself and my family. As a part of working towards this goal I am currently attending Healthy Lifestyle course at my church. 

My friend used to say to me " You need to be the thermostat in your home not the Thermometer!"  She was so right.  If I am being a thermometer I am reacting to what is going on around me, but if I am the thermostat I am setting the standard of the atmosphere around me.

Reba Bowman encourages woman to have sword friends rather than jelly friends based on Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron,    so one person sharpens another. The moral of her story is sword friends don't say what we want to hear but rather what we should hear and they encourage and build us up.  Conversely jelly friends just move with the latest trend and say what we want to hear. I realise that the quality of the company we keep definitely influences the thermostat of our demeanor.

4. The woman of the home is content
Hebrews 13:5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you,

This past year I had the opportunity to work as a Store Recovery Associate at Big W four evenings a week.  I thought that this is what I needed but my Lord knew me better than I knew myself and in His infinite patient way allowed me to start work in the evenings. A year later totally exhausted I am pleased for the experience has given me a reference point to know just how being home full time is a privilege and I need to be content with every part of it.  I need to choose to have a content attitude and not be looking at others.

5. The woman of the home prays
1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18   ¹⁶Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually (always); ¹⁷Be unceasing in prayer [praying perseveringly]; ¹⁸Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will].

Two wonderful resources I have used in the past are from Stormie O'Martian who has written a number of prayer journals and the two which come to mind are: The Power of a Praying Wife and The Power of a Praying Parent. I love how Stormie encourages us to pray through scripture and she shows how to use scripture to pray over situations around our children, our spouses and our marriages.

Week Ones Challenge: Go buy an extra large candle and light a candle everyday in your home. I will be starting mine in the morning! But you can start yours at dinner time. Do what makes sense for your family. I will be placing mine in the kitchen – the main hub of my home. Each time the candle catches your eye, say a prayer for peace in your home.By Courtney at Woman Living Well

I chose not to use a candle but rather use the oil burner which I received from my family one Christmas. A friend of mine had given me some lavender essential oil which is great at calming the nervous system . I found that the smell also helped to remind me to pray.  It was great to have a small thing to do to start off making my home a haven. It helped me be more focused in praying through out my day for those in my care and in what I was doing to achieve my purpose. 

The week ahead:

Play soft music everyday in your home. Choose worship, classical or another form of peaceful music that the family enjoys. Focus on using peaceful words and maintaining peaceful relationships. Remind your family to avoid seething anger, tattling, criticism or back talk. As the wife/mother, work on gentleness this week.

For inspiration you can head on over to Courtneys post titled: Sing, Dance, Smile and Swoon - Have fun in your home

Focusing on peaceful words has reminded me of a few sessions we did at GEMS in Christchurch. One of them was titled Tongue and Tone. I will dig out my notes and put them up here later this week.

May the Lord bless your words this week may they be as apples of gold in settings of silver.

Blessings