Your soul aches from the secret doubts and fears.
You lie awake at night allowing fear to gnaw at your insides
In those moments questions flood your soul
- Why does it feel like this?
- Why is it so hard?
- Why do I feel like a constant failure?
- Why is it that every choice feels like one that is wrong?
- Why does it feel like somehow I will NEVER measure up and be successful at this journey of MOTHERHOOD?
- Why do I constantly feel overwhelmed?
I too wrestle with these haunting questions that feel like a millstone of agony around my heart.
Oh Lord I've cried out in my heart, "Your
word says Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him." so why does this feel so deeply painful and bone wearying?
And then His gentle voice whispers to my heart ...
... Be True to Yourself
WHAT do you mean Lord ?
And once again I feel His presence ...
... Be True to Yourself
The echo of this statement hangs in the air with breathless anticipation. I can feel it's
the key to set me FREE...
I ponder these words:
Be TRUE to YOURSELF
As I contemplate my feelings it became clearer. When I started my journey first as a new Mother then as a homeschooling Mom I was full of excitement and anticipation. I attended any and all meetings, listened avidly to all the conversations, diligently sought advice on different issues, carefully looked over anything new on the market, attended all the trips that fit our very tight budget and constantly strived to grow. It was all new and exhilarating. I looked forward to each monthly meeting, any conference and the fortnightly co-op meetings.
Each time I heard what someone was doing that sounded wonderful I added it to my list of what we were doing. After all what I could see them doing seemed to add to their success so if I did it too I would be successful ... I loved the results of what each of these families were doing and wanted that fruit for my family. As the years went by I began to become bone weary.
“Oh Lord I am sooo very tired, I just can’t anymore….” I slowed down, carefully chose what we did do and slowly over time my strength returned but my heart still ached with inadequacy and His voice keeps whispering to my soul
“Be true to YOURSELF”
I have spent some time meditating on His words to my spirit and looking back it has become clearer. I now know what He is saying to my heart.
Each time I had attended a meeting I would watch all the Mom's there, comparing what we did with what they were doing. After all they were further along this journey then me they must know what to do. I would then take note of what each of these Mom’s (who in
my eyes were successful) were doing and I would take their way of doing things and try to add it to mine. I thought that if I somehow could do it the way they were I would be successful. It never occurred to me to take the new idea to the Lord in prayer and seek Him to see if it was for us.
I now realise that if the Lord wanted ALL
those things for my children He would have placed my children in their families. He did not.
He chose my family and
I had not been TRUE to myself and
who HE had made me. I had added all these
carbon copies and the burden was too heavy for me and for my children.
I had been trying to mold myself to look like these super successful Mothers.
In
Colossians 3:1 it says:
Set your hearts on things above. This is the
key to setting you free and healing your heart. We need to
focus on Him and His design for our families and not strive in the flesh to perform or become what someone else is.
I had been trying to do all these things to be successful in the worlds eyes and had taken my eyes off HIM. He has been reminding me to ask Him and He will show me. I need to
Trust in Him with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding. As I acknowledge Him in ALL my ways He will make my path straight. (
Proverbs 3:5-6).
My encouragement to you is to
take your eyes off your friends (especially the super successful ones), and
place them firmly on your Lord.
He has a plan for you and it is a good plan. Your children, your home and your husband are a good and perfect gift from Him to YOU. His word in in
James 1:17 reminds us that 'Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.' He makes no mistakes.
In His word this week He reminded me: 'Come to me all you who are heavy laden and
find rest for your souls' (
Matthew 11:28-30). If you are exhausted or feeling overwhelmed take some time.
STOP what you are doing. Prayerfully take it before your Heavenly Father and
seek His heart for your family.
Be TRUE to yourself and who He has made you. When He formed you
He placed within you all you would need through Him to succeed (
Philippians4:13) at the task He has placed before you.
He is the good Shepherd and
He gently leads those that have young (
Isaiah 40:11) Dear Mother that is
YOU! His yoke is
wholesome (useful, good—not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and His burden is light and easy to be borne. He calls out to you to take His yoke upon you and to learn from Him, for he is gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief) and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls (paraphrase of Matthew 11:28-30).
This rest is found in being
TRUE TO YOURSELF and whom He has created you to be.
Take some time to write a list of
all the good things and meditate upon these and when life becomes overwhelming take some time to read your list and
remind yourself to be TRUE to whom He created YOU to be.
Blessings
Chareen
Mother's Day is right around the corner and I've gotten together with a group of bloggers to bring you a giveaway and blog hop that we are hoping will bless your socks off!
We not only hope to bless several moms with some pretty awesome giveaway prizes, but we also hope to bless many more moms through the
Letters to Moms Blog Hop, where each participating blogger is writing a 'Dear Mom' letter.
These letters will be anything from a letter to our own moms, a letter to ourselves, a letter to a mother figure, or a generalized letter to a group of moms, such as weary moms, hopeless moms, expecting moms, single moms....... Maybe one of these letters will speak to you!
So please, hop around to the many other bloggers above, and of course enter to win the giveaway too - there will be 4 winners with the total prize value over $1000!
This post is part of the Schoolhouse Review Crew 5 Days of Tips for Homeschool Parents Blog Hop. Blog posts from these bloggers will be going live between 8 am EST and Midday.
